W.7.5: Revising and Editing for Purpose and Audience with Peers and Adults
In plain English: W.7.5 is the Common Core grade 7 ELA standard that asks students to develop and strengthen writing by planning, revising, editing, rewriting or trying a new approach, with some guidance and support from peers and adults, while judging how well the draft serves its purpose and audience. Editing draws on the grade 7 Language standards, such as fixing dangling modifiers.
With some guidance and support from peers and adults, develop and strengthen writing as needed by planning, revising, editing, rewriting, or trying a new approach, focusing on how well purpose and audience have been addressed.
Common Core State Standards for English Language Arts & Literacy · Domain: Writing Standards · Cluster: Production and Distribution of Writing · Official standard
Students follow one real-world letter through three drafts. Ximena, an invented seventh grader, writes to the owner of a neighborhood hardware store to ask for $250 in parts for her school's robotics team. Her first draft is friendly and full of feeling, but it is written for the wrong reader: it is packed with robot terms, and the request comes in the last line, too vague for anyone to answer. In a feedback session, a classmate sits in the reader's chair and responds the way the store owner would, and the coach brings in what the owner told him about the requests she gets. Ximena tries a new approach that puts the request first, then edits the letter with a partner for grade 7 conventions: misplaced and dangling modifiers, commas between coordinate adjectives, wordiness and spelling.
The standard's grade 7 focus is how well purpose and audience have been addressed, so every change on the page is judged by one test: does it help this reader do what the writer needs? The lesson ends with the store owner's real answer to the letter. For homework, students strengthen a book review for seventh graders using feedback from a peer and the school librarian.
Learning Objectives
By the end of this lesson, students will be able to:
Name a draft's purpose (what it should get done) and audience (who will read it) and judge how well each part of the draft serves them
Give and use feedback from peers and adults that responds as the real reader would
Revise, rewrite or try a new approach when a draft does not fit its reader, and explain which kind of change each one is
Edit for grade 7 conventions: misplaced and dangling modifiers, commas between coordinate adjectives, wordiness and redundancy, and spelling
Prior Knowledge Required
Students should already be comfortable with:
Planning, revising and editing with some guidance and support from peers and adults W.6.5
Writing for a named task, purpose and audience W.6.4
Using commas to set off extra information and fixing run-on sentences L.6.2
"You want something from an adult you have never met, such as a store owner or a neighbor. You can send one short note. What must the note say in its first two sentences?"
Take a few answers and list them. Students usually name what they want, why, and who they are. Ask which of these the stranger needs first, and why the answer depends on who the stranger is and how they will read the note.
Introduce the situation. Ximena, a seventh grader at Alder Creek Middle School, needs parts for her robotics team's tournament robot. She is writing to Ms. Delgado, who owns Delgado Hardware and has never met the team. Ximena, her school, her team, the store and everyone in this lesson are invented. Read Draft 1 aloud. Each student writes one sentence: after reading it, what could Ms. Delgado actually do?
1Dear Ms. Delgado,
2My name is Ximena Paredes, and I am in seventh grade at Alder Creek Middle School. I have been in the Robotics Club for two years. Last year our robot was called Clawdia. It had a four-wheel drivetrain and a claw arm with two servos, and in the autonomous period it could score by itself. At the tournament a chain slipped off in our second match and we lost. Everyone on the team was really upset, and I cried on the bus.
3This year we are building a new robot, and it is going to be much better. We have eleven members, and we meet every Tuesday and Thursday after school in Room 12. Mr. Lindqvist is our coach. We are learning a lot about engineering and teamwork.
4The regional tournament is in March. We still need money for parts. If you could help us with anything at all, that would be amazing.
5Thank you, Ximena Paredes
SVHS lesson authors, Text 1: Ximena's Draft 1 of her letter to Delgado Hardware (Ximena, Alder Creek Middle School, Delgado Hardware and everyone in this lesson are invented). Original passage written for this page.
Direct Instruction20 minutes
Use Diagram 1 to explain the standard. W.7.5 names five kinds of work that make writing stronger: planning (deciding the reader, the purpose and what to include before writing), revising (changing what the writing says or how it is organized), rewriting (writing a part again in new sentences), editing (fixing grammar, punctuation and spelling) and trying a new approach (starting again with a different plan, form or order). Writers do this "as needed" and with "some guidance and support from peers and adults"; a peer is a classmate.
The grade 7 standard adds one phrase: "focusing on how well purpose and audience have been addressed." The purpose is what a piece of writing is supposed to get done, such as persuading, explaining or thanking. The audience is the person or group who will read it. So before any change, a seventh grader asks: who is reading, and will this help them understand, decide or act? In the full Common Core document, W.7.5 also has a note that editing should show command of the Language standards 1-3 up to and including grade 7. In this lesson that means misplaced and dangling modifiers (L.7.1c), commas between coordinate adjectives (L.7.2a), spelling (L.7.2b), and cutting wordiness and redundancy (L.7.3a).
Read Text 2, the feedback session. The group uses a reader's chair: one responder speaks as the real reader, Ms. Delgado, would, and the others ask questions and suggest changes. Mr. Lindqvist, the science teacher who coaches the team, is the adult in the group.
1Mr. Lindqvist: Remember our rule for feedback: we judge a draft by its reader and its purpose. Ximena, who is your reader, and what do you want her to do?
2Ximena: Ms. Delgado. She owns Delgado Hardware on Pine Street. I want her to give us money for parts.
3Mr. Lindqvist: Omar, you are in the reader's chair today. Respond the way Ms. Delgado would.
4Omar: Okay. As Ms. Delgado, I like the part where the chain slips off. It makes me feel sorry for the team. But I don't know what a drivetrain or a servo is, and I have no idea what the autonomous period means.
5Bea: My question is about what she has to decide. The letter says "anything at all." How much do you actually need, and what would it buy?
6Ximena: About $250 for aluminum bars, bolts and a new chain. The rest of the $600 comes from our bake sale and the parent club.
7Bea: None of that is in the letter. She would have to call you to find out.
8Mr. Lindqvist: Here is something from the reader's side. When I bought supplies at her store last month, Ms. Delgado told me she gets two or three requests a week. She says yes to the ones that tell her exactly what the money pays for and how the store will be thanked. And she reads them at the front counter, between customers.
9Omar: So she might read only the first few lines, and the ask is at the very end.
10Ximena: What if I start with the ask? I could say what we need, how much and by when, and tell her about the team after that.
11Mr. Lindqvist: That is trying a new approach, not just fixing sentences. Make a plan first. List everything she needs to know before she can say yes.
12Ximena: Can I keep the chain story?
13Bea: Keep a short version. It explains why you need a new chain.
SVHS lesson authors, Text 2: Feedback session transcript, with Omar in the reader's chair. Original passage written for this page.
Ximena's plan for Draft 2, written after the feedback session
Planning question
Ximena's answer
Who is the reader?
Ms. Delgado, who owns Delgado Hardware and reads requests at the counter, between customers
What is my purpose?
Get $250 in parts from her store for the tournament robot
What does she need to know to say yes?
What we want and how much, which parts, what the store gets back, the deadline, whom to contact
What order will work for her?
The request first, then the reason, then what we offer, then the deadline
What should I cut?
Robot terms she does not know, most of the story about last year, the meeting room
What should I keep?
One or two sentences about the chain, because they explain why we need a new one
Ximena wrote Draft 2 from this plan. Read it aloud, then work through the five examples. Each one shows one decision and the reader it was made for.
1Dear Ms. Delgado,
2Would Delgado Hardware sponsor the Alder Creek Robotics Club this year? We are asking for $250 in parts from your store. We found a list of the parts on your store's website that we need: aluminum bars, a box of bolts and a new drive chain.
3Here is why each and every part matters. At last year's tournament, the chain on our robot slipped off in the middle of a match, and we lost. Built with a stronger chain and a lighter frame, the judges will be impressed this year.
4In return, we would put your store's logo on the side of our robot, and we would thank Delgado Hardware in the school newsletter, which goes to over 700 families. We are a hardworking friendly team of eleven students. At this point in time, we have raised $350 of the $600 we need.
5To be ready for the regional tournement on March 14, we need the parts by February 20. You can reach our coach, Mr. Lindqvist, through the school office.
6Thank you for thinking about it.
7Sincerely, Ximena Paredes, Robotics Club
SVHS lesson authors, Text 3: Ximena's Draft 2, a new approach. Original passage written for this page.
Planning: naming the reader and the purpose
Draft 1 opens with "My name is Ximena Paredes" and waits until the last line to say what she wants: "If you could help us with anything at all, that would be amazing." Mr. Lindqvist starts the session by asking, "who is your reader, and what do you want her to do?" (Text 2, paragraph 1).
Result: Ximena's plan names the reader (a busy store owner), the purpose ($250 in parts) and the five things the owner needs before she can say yes. Every later decision is checked against that plan.
Revising for the audience: cutting terms the reader does not know
Draft 1, paragraph 2: "It had a four-wheel drivetrain and a claw arm with two servos, and in the autonomous period it could score by itself." Speaking as Ms. Delgado, Omar says, "I have no idea what the autonomous period means" (Text 2, paragraph 4).
Result: Draft 2 drops the robot terms. They are accurate, but accuracy is not the test here: a store owner cannot use them to decide whether to donate. Whether a detail stays depends on the reader and the purpose, not on whether it is interesting to the writer.
Trying a new approach: putting the request first
Mr. Lindqvist reports that Ms. Delgado "reads them at the front counter, between customers," and Omar concludes, "the ask is at the very end" (Text 2, paragraphs 8-9). Ximena asks, "What if I start with the ask?"
Result: Draft 2 is rebuilt in a new order. It opens with "Would Delgado Hardware sponsor the Alder Creek Robotics Club this year?" and gives the amount in the second sentence. This is more than a revision, because the plan of the whole letter changed to fit how its reader reads.
Rewriting: the chain story in two sentences
Draft 1 tells the whole story of last year's loss, ending "Everyone on the team was really upset, and I cried on the bus." Bea advises, "Keep a short version. It explains why you need a new chain" (Text 2, paragraph 13).
Result: Draft 2 rewrites the story in new sentences with a new job: "At last year's tournament, the chain on our robot slipped off in the middle of a match, and we lost." The feeling stays, but now it serves the purpose, because it tells the reader why her parts matter.
Editing: a dangling modifier (L.7.1c)
Draft 2, paragraph 3: "Built with a stronger chain and a lighter frame, the judges will be impressed this year." A modifier is a word or phrase that describes something. This one should describe the robot, but the words right after it are "the judges," and the robot is not in the sentence at all.
Result: A modifier dangles when the word it describes is missing from the sentence, or it is misplaced when it sits next to the wrong word. Draft 3 puts the robot right after the phrase: "Built with a stronger chain and a lighter frame, our new robot will not break down the same way."
Guided Practice15 minutes
Ximena and her classmate Bea held an editing conference on Draft 2, using Mr. Lindqvist's four-point checklist: modifiers next to the words they describe, commas between coordinate adjectives (two or more adjectives that each describe the noun on their own, so they still make sense in reverse order or joined by "and"), no wordy or repeated words, and spelling. Pairs read Text 4 and then Text 5, the letter Ximena mailed. Then they fill in the draft tracker below and check the last row against Diagram 2.
1Bea: Mr. Lindqvist's checklist has four points. Number 1: every modifier sits next to the word it describes. Listen to this: "We found a list of the parts on your store's website that we need." It sounds like you need the website.
2Ximena: I'll move it. "On your store's website, we found the parts we need."
3Bea: The next one is worse. "Built with a stronger chain and a lighter frame, the judges will be impressed this year." Who is built with a stronger chain?
4Ximena: The robot, not the judges! The opening phrase is supposed to describe the robot, but the robot isn't in the sentence at all. I'll write "Built with a stronger chain and a lighter frame, our new robot will not break down the same way."
5Bea: Number 2: a comma between coordinate adjectives. You wrote "a hardworking friendly team."
6Ximena: Test it. "A friendly and hardworking team" sounds fine, so the adjectives are coordinate, and I need a comma: "a hardworking, friendly team."
7Bea: What about "a new drive chain"?
8Ximena: "A drive new chain" sounds wrong, and so does "a new and drive chain." No comma there.
9Bea: Number 3: cut wordy or repeated words. "Each and every" says the same thing twice. And "At this point in time" is five words for "so far."
10Ximena: Then it's "Here is why the chain matters" and "So far, we have raised $350." Number 4 is spelling. I already see it: "tournament" has an a in it.
11Mr. Lindqvist: Good work. Now one last reader check. Bea, read only the first two sentences as Ms. Delgado. What do you know?
12Bea: What they want, and how much.
13Mr. Lindqvist: Then the purpose is working. One more question for this reader: she has never met the club. Does "a hardworking, friendly team" tell her anything she can check?
14Ximena: Not really. My first draft said we meet twice a week, and I cut it. I'll put it back.
15Mr. Lindqvist: That is a revision, not an edit, and that is fine. Writers go back whenever the reader needs something.
SVHS lesson authors, Text 4: Editing conference transcript, Ximena and Bea, with Mr. Lindqvist. Original passage written for this page.
1Dear Ms. Delgado,
2Would Delgado Hardware sponsor the Alder Creek Robotics Club this year? We are asking for $250 in parts from your store. On your store's website, we found the parts we need: aluminum bars, a box of bolts and a new drive chain.
3Here is why the chain matters. At last year's tournament, the chain on our robot slipped off in the middle of a match, and we lost. Built with a stronger chain and a lighter frame, our new robot will not break down the same way.
4In return, we would put your store's logo on the side of our robot, and we would thank Delgado Hardware in the school newsletter, which goes to over 700 families. We are a hardworking, friendly team of eleven students, and we have met twice a week since September. So far, we have raised $350 of the $600 we need.
5To be ready for the regional tournament on March 14, we need the parts by February 20. You can reach our coach, Mr. Lindqvist, through the school office.
6Thank you for considering our request.
7Sincerely, Ximena Paredes, Robotics Club
SVHS lesson authors, Text 5: Ximena's Draft 3, the letter as mailed. Original passage written for this page.
Draft tracker (pairs fill in the blank cells)
Question
Draft 1 to Draft 2
Draft 2 to Draft 3
What kind of work was it (planning, revising, rewriting, editing, new approach)?
Who helped (a peer, an adult, the writer alone)?
One change, quoted before and after
How the change serves Ms. Delgado or the purpose
Needs met, from Diagram 2 (out of 6)
1 to 5
5 to 6
Discuss as a class: at the end of the conference, Ximena makes a revision during what was supposed to be editing. What does that show about the order of the five kinds of work in the standard?
Independent Practice15 minutes
Read Ms. Delgado's reply (Text 6) together. It is the real test of the letter: did it get done what it was written to do?
1Dear Ximena,
2Thank you for your letter. I read it at the counter on a busy Saturday, and I knew what you were asking before the next customer reached the register. The parts list made it easy to say yes, because I could check our shelves that same afternoon.
3Delgado Hardware will donate the aluminum bars, the bolts and the chain, about $250 in parts. Please ask Mr. Lindqvist to call the store and set a pickup day before February 20. I look forward to seeing our logo on your robot. Good luck on March 14!
4Sincerely, Rosa Delgado, Delgado Hardware
SVHS lesson authors, Text 6: Ms. Delgado's reply. Original passage written for this page.
Students now strengthen a draft of their own. (1) Plan: write the reader, the purpose and the one thing that reader must know first. (2) Reader's chair: a partner reads the draft for three minutes as that reader and says what they would understand, wonder about and do. (3) Change: make one change for the reader (a revision, a rewrite or a new approach) and one edit, labeled in the margin. (4) Explain: write two sentences on how the change serves the purpose and who helped you see it.
Circulate and hold short conferences, asking what Mr. Lindqvist asked: who is your reader, and what should this make them do? A student without a current draft writes a 100-word request to a real adult at school, such as a request for a club meeting room. The quiz uses Texts 1-6 (Warm-Up through Independent Practice).
Closure5 minutes
Exit ticket: (1) Name one change Ximena made because of a peer and one she made because of an adult. (2) Write one sentence about your own draft: who is its reader, and what one change would help that reader most? Then hand out the homework texts below: Dmitri's first draft of a review of Jack London's The Call of the Wild (1903) for the school library's Next Read page (Text 7), and the feedback from his writing partner and the librarian (Text 8). Dmitri, Kofi and Ms. Oyelaran are invented; the novel is real, and the review describes its plot accurately.
Teacher note: the novel includes violence between dogs and between people, as Text 8 points out, and its portrayal of the Yeehat people reflects the prejudices of its time. Students do not need to read the novel for this homework.
1The Call of the Wild by Jack London was published in 1903. It is about a dog named Buck. Buck is a strong brave dog who lives on Judge Miller's big place in California. Then Manuel, a man who works there, steals Buck and sells him. Buck is taken north to the Yukon, where thousands of people are rushing to find gold. He has to learn to pull a sled. Another dog named Spitz hates him, and they fight, and Buck wins. Later a man named John Thornton saves Buck's life, and Buck loves him more than anything. At the end, Thornton is killed, and Buck goes to live with a pack of wolves.
2Reading it for English class, the fight scenes were really exciting. I followed Buck's journey on a map in my room, which is thousands of miles long. In my opinion, I think it was a good book. I would give it four stars.
SVHS lesson authors, Text 7: Homework draft, Dmitri's review of The Call of the Wild for the library's Next Read page (Draft 1; Dmitri is invented, and the novel is real). Original passage written for this page.
1Kofi (Dmitri's writing partner): My praise is that you know the story really well. My question is, why did you tell me the ending? Now I don't need to read it. Also, four stars out of how many?
2Ms. Oyelaran (the school librarian): Remember who reads our Next Read page: seventh graders deciding what to check out next. They want to know three things. What is the book like? Who would enjoy it? Is it hard to read? A summary of the whole plot answers none of those. Also, tell readers that the book has violent fights, between dogs and between people. Some readers will want to know that before they start. Reviews on the page can be 150 words at most.
3Dmitri: What if I stop the story when Buck reaches the Yukon, and spend the rest on who would like it and why?
4Ms. Oyelaran: That is a new approach worth trying. Make a plan first, so you know what goes in each part.
SVHS lesson authors, Text 8: Homework feedback on Dmitri's review, from his writing partner and the school librarian (both invented). Original passage written for this page.
Differentiation Strategies
For Struggling Students
Give a reader's chair card with three starters: "As the reader, I understand...", "As the reader, I still wonder...", "As the reader, I would now..."
Provide the draft tracker with the first column already filled in
Before the editing checklist, practice the coordinate-adjective test aloud with three phrases (reverse them, then add "and")
For Advanced Students
Write the same request as a 60-second phone call script for Ms. Delgado and explain what changes when the audience listens instead of reads
Write the thank-you note Ximena should send after the tournament, for the same reader but a new purpose
Find one sentence in Draft 3 that could still be more concise, rewrite it, and explain what the reader gains
Assessment Guidance
What to Look For
Look for changes a reader would notice, and for reasons that name the reader: "Ms. Delgado reads at the counter, so the request goes first," not "it sounds better." Students should tell apart revising, rewriting, editing and a new approach, and say who helped with each change. In feedback, listen for responses given as the real reader, not as a classmate. In editing, check that students can find the word a modifier describes, test coordinate adjectives by reversing them, and cut words that repeat an idea without losing meaning.
02
Classroom Activities
3 Activities
1
The Reader's Chair
20 minGroups of 3
Students run the feedback session from Text 2 on their own drafts. One responder speaks as the draft's real reader, so the group judges the writing by its purpose and audience rather than by personal taste. Each round ends with a written plan.
Roles
Writer: names the reader and the purpose on a card, reads the draft aloud once, then listens and takes notes
Reader's chair: holds the card and responds as that reader: "As the reader, I understand..., I still wonder..., I would now..."
Coach: asks one question about purpose ("What should this make the reader do?") and suggests one change, starting with "You could try..."
Procedure
Each round takes about 6 minutes, and roles rotate so everyone is the writer once
The reader's chair answers only from what the draft says, the way Omar could not guess what a servo is
The writer finishes a plan with three headings: Keep, Change for the reader, Cut
The teacher joins one round in each group as the adult and adds one fact about the real reader that the group did not know
Discussion Questions
What did the reader's chair say that you would not have noticed as a classmate?
Was any change you planned a new approach rather than a revision? How can you tell?
What did the adult add that the peers could not?
Modification for Distance Learning
Writers share drafts in a document with comments turned on and write the reader and purpose at the top. One responder comments only as the reader; the other comments as the coach. The writer replies to each comment with the change they will make.
2
Wrong Reader, Right Facts
15 minPairs
Each card holds a short draft (written for this activity) whose facts are fine but whose writing does not fit its reader or purpose. Pairs decide what kind of work the draft needs and do it.
The Three Cards
Card 1. Reader: a first grader in the reading-buddy program. Purpose: invite them to a read-aloud. Draft: "You are cordially invited to attend a literacy event commencing at 10:15 a.m. in the multipurpose room."
Card 2. Reader: the principal. Purpose: ask to use Room 8 for a new chess club at lunch. Draft: "hey!! so we want 2 start a chess club, can we use rm 8?? thx"
Card 3. Reader: a substitute teacher reading at 7:50 a.m., ten minutes before class. Purpose: explain the morning routine. Draft: a paragraph that starts "Our class is really fun. Last October we had a pumpkin contest..." and gives the routine only in its last sentence.
Procedure
For each card, pairs write the reader, the purpose and one thing the reader needs that the draft does not give them
Pairs decide whether the card needs revising, rewriting or a new approach, and write one sentence explaining why
Pairs write the first two sentences of a better version of each card
Pairs trade with another pair, who read each new opening in the reader's chair
Possible Answers (for the teacher)
Card 1 needs rewriting in words a six-year-old knows ("Come hear a story with me on Friday at 10:15!"). Card 2 needs rewriting in complete, polite sentences that give the day, the time and who will supervise, because the principal must approve the request. Card 3 needs a new approach: a short numbered list of the routine first, with the class story cut, because the substitute has ten minutes. Accept other answers that name the reader's needs.
Same Facts Variation
Pairs take Card 2's facts and write for a new audience: a poster inviting seventh graders to join the chess club. They list what changed and what stayed the same.
3
Grade 7 Editing Clinic
20 minPairs, rotating through 3 stations
Three stations each practice one item from Mr. Lindqvist's checklist. Pairs spend about 6 minutes at each station, correct each card and name the rule. At the end, each pair answers one reader question: which of these errors would confuse a reader, and which would only distract one?
Station A: Modifiers (L.7.1c)
A1: "Running to catch the bus, my backpack fell open."
A2: "Hanging in the hallway, everyone admired the new mural."
A3: "Our teacher showed us a video about sharks in the library."
Station B: Coordinate Adjectives (L.7.2a)
B1: "It was a long tiring practice."
B2: "She wore a red wool scarf."
B3: "The team gave a clear confident answer."
Station C: Wordiness and Redundancy (L.7.3a)
C1: "Due to the fact that it rained, the game was postponed until later."
C2: "The two robots were both identical."
C3: "We will return back to the gym at 3:00 p.m. in the afternoon."
Station Key (for the teacher)
A1 dangles: the backpack was not running. "Running to catch the bus, I felt my backpack fall open." A2 is misplaced: the mural is in the sentence, but the phrase sits next to "everyone," so move it: "Everyone admired the new mural hanging in the hallway." A3 is misplaced, since the sharks are not in the library: "In the library, our teacher showed us a video about sharks." B1 and B3 are coordinate ("tiring and long," "confident and clear"), so they take commas: "a long, tiring practice," "a clear, confident answer." B2 is correct as written: "wool red scarf" does not work, so there is no comma. C1: "Because it rained, the game was postponed" ("until later" repeats "postponed"). C2: "The two robots were identical." C3: "We will return to the gym at 3:00 p.m."
03
Diagrams & Visual Aids
2 diagrams
Diagram 1: Five Kinds of Work, One Test: Purpose and Audience
W.7.5 names planning, revising, rewriting, editing and trying a new approach, done as needed with support from peers and adults. The grade 7 focus sits in the middle: each kind of work is judged by how well the draft serves its purpose and its audience. Each box shows the reader question that step asks and who helped Ximena with it. Trying a new approach sends the writer back to planning.
Diagram 2: What Ms. Delgado Needs, Draft by Draft
Six things the reader needs before she can say yes, taken from Ximena's plan and the feedback session. Draft 2 meets five of the six, but in cutting the meeting schedule it also drops how often the team works, the kind of fact a stranger can check. Draft 3 restores it after Mr. Lindqvist's last reader check.
04
Homework Assignment
~30 min
W.7.5 Homework: Strengthening Dmitri's Book Review
Directions: Use Texts 7 and 8 in the Closure section of the lesson plan. Dmitri is writing a review of The Call of the Wild for the school library's Next Read page, which seventh graders use to choose their next book. His writing partner, Kofi, and the librarian, Ms. Oyelaran, have given him feedback. You will plan, judge, revise, try a new approach and edit his review. Use only the facts in Text 7, and you do not need to read the novel.
Part 1: Purpose and Audience (Problems 1-2)
Write Dmitri's plan in three lines: the reader, the purpose, and the three things that reader wants to know. Support the third line with a sentence from Text 8, quoted, with its paragraph number.
Judge how well Draft 1 addresses its purpose and audience. Name two places where it lets its reader down, and for each one, quote the comment in Text 8 (from Kofi or from Ms. Oyelaran) that points it out.
Part 2: A New Approach and a Revision (Problems 3-4)
Try Dmitri's new approach from Text 8, paragraph 3: write a new opening of 3-4 sentences that introduces Buck and stops the story when he reaches the Yukon. List the sentences from Draft 1 you would cut, and explain why this reader is better off without them.
Write the rest of the review: who would enjoy the book and why, whether it is hard to read, and the warning Ms. Oyelaran asks for. Your whole review, with the opening from Problem 3, must be 150 words or fewer. Give your word count.
Part 3: Edit and Reflect (Problems 5-6)
Text 7 has four convention errors: a dangling modifier, a misplaced modifier, two coordinate adjectives with no comma between them, and a phrase that says the same thing twice. Copy each sentence, correct it and name the rule.
Write a note to Dmitri (80-120 words) explaining which change, from a peer, from an adult or from your own rereading, would help a seventh grader choosing a book the most, and why.
Rubric
Criterion
Full Credit (2 pts)
Partial Credit (1 pt)
No Credit (0 pts)
Purpose and audience
Plan names the reader, the purpose and the three needs, with a quoted sentence; two weak places are matched to the right comments
Plan or judgment is general, or quotations are missing
The reader is not considered
New approach
The opening stops at the Yukon, and the cuts are explained by what the reader needs
The opening works, but the cuts are not explained, or it gives away the ending
Draft 1 is copied with small changes
Revision for the reader
The review says who would enjoy the book, how hard it is and what to be ready for, in 150 words or fewer
One of the three is missing, or it runs over 150 words
Still a plot summary
Editing
All four errors corrected and each rule named
Two or three errors corrected, or rules not named
Fewer than two errors corrected
05
Quiz: 20 Questions
Interactive, with answers
Instructions
The questions use Texts 1-6 in the lesson plan: Ximena's three drafts, the two transcripts and Ms. Delgado's reply (Warm-Up through Independent Practice). Paragraph numbers match the numbers beside each text. Questions 10-14, 17, 19 and 20 use new practice sentences or situations. Your score updates as you answer, and Reset quiz clears everything so you or your students can try again.
Multiple choice: pick an option to check it. Short answer: write your answer, then reveal the model answer.
0 of 20 answered · 0 correct
Question 1 of 20 · Multiple Choice
In Text 2, why does Mr. Lindqvist ask Ximena to name her reader and her purpose before the feedback starts?
Answer: A
He states the rule: "we judge a draft by its reader and its purpose" (paragraph 1). Every comment that follows is about what Ms. Delgado would understand or need. B confuses feedback on content with editing, which comes later, in Text 4. C is wrong because Ximena writes every draft herself. D invents a word limit that nobody in Text 2 mentions.
Question 2 of 20 · Multiple Choice
In the reader's chair, Omar is told to "Respond the way Ms. Delgado would" (Text 2, paragraph 3). Which comment would not fit that role?
Answer: C
The reader's chair speaks only as the real reader, a store owner deciding whether to donate. C speaks as Ximena's classmate and friend, and a funny name does not help Ms. Delgado decide anything. A, B and D are all things a store owner reading Draft 1 could say: Omar makes a comment like A in paragraph 4, and B and D name needs that appear in Ximena's plan.
Question 3 of 20 · Multiple Choice
Mr. Lindqvist reports that Ms. Delgado says yes to requests that tell her "how the store will be thanked" (Text 2, paragraph 8). Which part of Draft 2 answers that need?
Answer: D
Draft 2, paragraph 4, offers to "put your store's logo on the side of our robot" and to "thank Delgado Hardware in the school newsletter." That is how the store will be thanked. A is the request itself. B explains why the parts matter. C is the deadline. Each of those meets a different need of the reader.
Question 4 of 20 · Multiple Choice
Suppose Ximena had kept Draft 1 as it was and only replaced "anything at all" in the last paragraph with "$250 in parts." Why would that still fall short for Ms. Delgado?
Answer: B
Adding the amount changes what the letter says, so it is a revision, but the plan stays the same: the request is still in the last lines, and Omar points out that "she might read only the first few lines" (Text 2, paragraph 9). Only a new approach, a new order, fixes that. A is wrong because the change adds content. C describes a change nobody made. D is wrong because the change leaves the chain story in place.
Question 5 of 20 · Multiple Choice
In Draft 2, which words answer Bea's question in Text 2, "what would it buy?"
Answer: D
Bea asks how much the club needs and "what would it buy" (Text 2, paragraph 5). Draft 2 names the parts: "aluminum bars, a box of bolts and a new drive chain" (paragraph 2). A answers a different need: what the store gets in return. B is the deadline. C describes the team, not what the money buys.
Question 6 of 20 · Multiple Choice
In Text 4, Bea says that "We found a list of the parts on your store's website that we need" makes it sound "like you need the website." What kind of error is this?
Answer: B
The clause "that we need" describes the parts, and "parts" is in the sentence, so the modifier is not dangling; it is misplaced, because it sits right after "website" (L.7.1c). Ximena fixes it by moving the words: "On your store's website, we found the parts we need" (paragraph 2). A would be right only if "parts" were missing. C is wrong because no two adjectives are next to each other. D is wrong because nothing is repeated.
Question 7 of 20 · Multiple Choice
Use Ximena's test from Text 4, paragraphs 6-8. Which phrase needs a comma between its adjectives?
Answer: C
"A windy, cold morning" and "a cold and windy morning" both work, so the adjectives are coordinate: "a cold, windy morning" (L.7.2a). A fails the test ("yellow big bus" sounds wrong), and so does B ("stone gray wall" changes the meaning). D fails too, because a number like "three" does not work in reverse order ("small three puppies").
Question 8 of 20 · Multiple Choice
Near the end of Text 4, Ximena puts back a detail she had cut from Draft 1. Why does Mr. Lindqvist call this a revision and not an edit?
Answer: A
Ximena restores a fact about the team because Ms. Delgado "has never met the club" (Text 4, paragraph 13). Adding or changing what the letter says is revising; correcting grammar, punctuation or spelling is editing. B and C describe edits. D is wrong because the standard says the work happens "as needed," in any order.
Question 9 of 20 · Multiple Choice
Which sentence in Ms. Delgado's reply (Text 6) best shows that Ximena's new approach suited how her reader reads?
Answer: D
The new approach put the request first because Ms. Delgado reads between customers. Her reply confirms it worked: "I knew what you were asking before the next customer reached the register" (paragraph 2). B shows that the offer of a logo mattered, which is about content, not order. A and C are polite details that do not show how she read the letter.
Question 10 of 20 · Multiple Choice
Which sentence has a dangling modifier?
Answer: A
In A, the phrase "After practicing all week" should describe Lena, but Lena is not in the sentence: the subject that follows it is "the speech," and a speech cannot practice (L.7.1c). B and C put Lena right next to the phrase. D has no opening phrase at all: it joins two clauses with "so."
Question 11 of 20 · Multiple Choice
Choose the sentence that fixes the misplaced modifier in Marco returned the library book to the front desk that was overdue.
Answer: B
In the original, "that was overdue" sits next to "the front desk," so it seems to describe the desk. B puts "overdue" right before "library book" (L.7.1c). A still attaches "overdue" to the desk instead of the book. C makes Marco overdue. D starts with a clause that has nothing to attach to, so it is not a complete, clear sentence.
Question 12 of 20 · Multiple Choice
Which sentence is punctuated correctly?
Answer: C
"Bright" and "colorful" are coordinate: "a colorful and bright banner" still works, so a comma goes between them (L.7.2a). A puts a comma between adjectives that are not coordinate ("a cardboard heavy box" does not work). B leaves the comma out. D adds a comma between the last adjective and the noun, which is never correct.
Question 13 of 20 · Multiple Choice
Which revision removes the wordiness and redundancy in In my personal opinion, the new frame is lighter in weight than the old one. without changing the meaning?
Answer: D
"Personal" repeats "my," and "in weight" repeats "lighter," so D says the same thing in fewer words (L.7.3a). A cuts only "in weight." B adds a new repetition, since "personally" and "in my opinion" mean the same. C keeps both redundant phrases and changes "the old one" to the vaguer "before."
Question 14 of 20 · Multiple Choice
A seventh grader writes a thank-you note to her 80-year-old neighbor, who taught her to knit: "thx 4 the yarn!! ur the best." Which change best addresses the note's purpose and audience?
Answer: B
The purpose is to thank, and the audience is an older neighbor who may not read texting shortcuts. Full words make the note clear to her, and a specific detail makes the thanks sound sincere. A adds excitement but nothing the reader needs. C adds length without adding thanks. D ignores the reader: "always" rules do not fit every audience.
Question 15 of 20 · Short Answer
In Text 4, paragraphs 11-15, Mr. Lindqvist ends the editing conference with a reader check. Explain the two questions he asks and what each one tests about purpose or audience. Quote the transcript.
Model answer: First, he has Bea "read only the first two sentences as Ms. Delgado" and asks what she knows (paragraph 11). This tests the purpose: if the reader knows "What they want, and how much" from two sentences, the request is doing its job, and he says, "Then the purpose is working." Second, he asks whether "a hardworking, friendly team" tells her "anything she can check" (paragraph 13). This tests the audience: Ms. Delgado "has never met the club," so she needs facts, not praise the team gives itself. Rubric line: 2 points for both questions, each quoted and matched to purpose or audience; 1 point for one question explained well, or both without quotations.
Question 16 of 20 · Short Answer
Draft 1 says: "It had a four-wheel drivetrain and a claw arm with two servos, and in the autonomous period it could score by itself." Explain why Ximena was right to cut this sentence from her letter, and name a different audience for whom the sentence would be a good choice.
Model answer: Ms. Delgado is a store owner deciding whether to donate, and Omar, speaking as her, says he does not know what a drivetrain or a servo is. The sentence gives her words she cannot use and nothing that helps her decide, so cutting it serves the purpose. The same sentence would suit robotics judges or members of another team, who know the terms and care how the robot works. Rubric line: 2 points for a reason tied to this reader and purpose plus a fitting different audience; 1 point for only one of the two.
Question 17 of 20 · Short Answer
Edit this sentence and name the rule behind each correction: Painted bright blue, the judges spotted us right away at the noisy crowded tournament.
Model answer: "Painted bright blue, our robot caught the judges' eyes right away at the noisy, crowded tournament." Two rules: (1) the opening phrase "Painted bright blue" describes the robot, but the robot is not in the sentence, so the modifier dangles and the judges seem to be painted; the fix names the robot right after the phrase (L.7.1c). (2) "Noisy" and "crowded" are coordinate adjectives ("crowded and noisy tournament" still works), so they need a comma between them (L.7.2a). "At the noisy, crowded tournament, the judges spotted our robot, painted bright blue, right away" is also correct. Rubric line: 2 points for fixing both errors and naming both rules; 1 point for fixing one error with its rule, or both without rules.
Question 18 of 20 · Short Answer
Name one change in the letter that came from a peer and one that came from an adult. For each, explain how it helped the letter's purpose. Quote the transcript where the help came from.
Model answer: From a peer: Bea caught the dangling modifier, asking "Who is built with a stronger chain?" (Text 4, paragraph 3), so the sentence now says the new robot "will not break down the same way." That makes the reason for the parts clear to Ms. Delgado. From an adult: Mr. Lindqvist reported that Ms. Delgado "reads them at the front counter, between customers" (Text 2, paragraph 8), which led Ximena to put the request first, so the store owner knows what is being asked right away. Rubric line: 2 points for one correct peer change and one correct adult change, each quoted and tied to the purpose; 1 point for one correct pair, or two without quotations.
Question 19 of 20 · Short Answer
After Ms. Delgado says yes, the school newsletter asks Ximena for a short article about the sponsorship, for families. The facts are the same, but the purpose and the audience are new. Name two things she should change from the letter and one thing she should keep, and explain why.
Model answer: Change 1: she should no longer open with a request, since the purpose is now to inform and thank, so she could open with the news that Delgado Hardware donated the parts. Change 2: she should write about the store in the third person ("Delgado Hardware donated") and add what families care about, such as when and where the tournament is. Keep: the chain story in one or two sentences, because it shows families why the parts matter. Rubric line: 2 points for two changes and one keep, each explained by the new purpose or audience; 1 point for fewer than three, or choices without reasons.
Question 20 of 20 · Short Answer
You want to ask your principal, by email, to let your class run a used-book sale at lunch. Write a plan: the reader, the purpose, what the reader needs to know before saying yes, and one peer and one adult you would ask for feedback, with the question you would ask each.
Model answer: Reader: the principal, who must approve anything that happens at lunch. Purpose: get permission for a used-book sale on one day. What the reader needs: the date and place, who will supervise, where the books come from, what happens to the money, and how the sale will be cleaned up. Feedback: I would ask a classmate, "Reading this as the principal, what would still worry you?" and ask my English teacher, "What does the principal usually need before approving an event?" Rubric line: 2 points for a plan tied to this reader and purpose and two specific feedback questions, one for a peer and one for an adult; 1 point if the plan is general or one feedback question is missing.
0 of 20 answered · 0 correct
06
Frequently Asked Questions
10 Questions
What does W.7.5 mean?
W.7.5 means that seventh graders make their writing stronger by planning, revising, editing, rewriting or trying a new approach, with some help from classmates and adults, and that they judge every change by how well the writing serves its purpose and its audience.
In practice, students keep asking two questions while they work: who is going to read this, and what should it make that reader understand or do?
How is W.7.5 different from W.6.5?
W.7.5 keeps the grade 6 wording and adds "focusing on how well purpose and audience have been addressed."
A sixth grader learns the kinds of work that strengthen a draft. A seventh grader also chooses among them for a reason tied to the reader. The editing note also moves up, from the grade 6 Language standards to the grade 7 ones.
What does "focusing on how well purpose and audience have been addressed" mean?
It means the writer judges a draft by whether it gets its job done for its real reader, not by whether it sounds nice.
A letter asking for a donation succeeds if the reader can say yes quickly; a set of directions succeeds if the reader can follow it. Feedback that responds as the real reader, such as the reader's chair in this lesson, helps students see that.
Which grammar skills go with editing in W.7.5?
The full W.7.5 text says editing should show command of Language standards 1-3 up to and including grade 7.
For grade 7 that includes the function of phrases and clauses (L.7.1a), choosing simple, compound, complex and compound-complex sentences (L.7.1b), fixing misplaced and dangling modifiers (L.7.1c), commas between coordinate adjectives (L.7.2a), spelling (L.7.2b) and cutting wordiness and redundancy (L.7.3a), along with skills from earlier grades.
What is the difference between revising, rewriting and editing?
Revising changes what a piece says or how it is organized, rewriting says a part again in new sentences, and editing fixes grammar, punctuation and spelling.
Trying a new approach goes further than any of them: the writer starts again with a new plan, form or order. A good test is to ask whether the reader would learn something different after the change. If so, it was not only an edit.
What is a dangling modifier, and why does it matter for the reader?
A dangling modifier is a describing phrase whose word is missing from the sentence, so it seems to describe something else.
In "Walking into the gym, the noise was loud," nobody is walking. A fix names who is doing it: "Walking into the gym, we heard loud noise." Readers may laugh at the wrong moment or misunderstand, which works against the writer's purpose.
How do I keep grade 7 peer feedback focused on purpose and audience?
Give one responder the job of speaking as the real reader, and ask the writer to name the reader and the purpose first.
Sentence starters help: "As the reader, I understand...", "As the reader, I still wonder...", "As the reader, I would now..." The writer ends each round with a written plan, so the feedback turns into changes.
Is W.7.5 the same as W.8.5?
The main wording of W.7.5 and W.8.5 is the same; what changes is the editing note, which moves to the grade 8 Language standards.
Grade 8 editing adds skills such as verbs in the active and passive voice and in different moods, and punctuation for a pause or break. The writing students strengthen also becomes more demanding in grade 8.
How is W.7.5 usually assessed?
It is usually assessed in class, through drafts, feedback notes and short reflections, since one final copy cannot show the process.
A useful task asks students to hand in two drafts with the changes labeled, name who helped with each change, and explain how each one serves the reader or the purpose. Check your state's writing materials to see how revision is scored on state tests.
How can parents help with revising at home?
Ask your child who the writing is for and what it should do, then read it as that person would.
Say what you understand and what you still wonder, before mentioning any mistakes. Let your child decide on the changes and make them, since the standard asks for guidance and support, not for an adult to do the rewriting.
07
Related Standards
6 standards
These standards connect to W.7.5: prerequisites to review first, parallel standards at the same level, and next steps that build on it.
Before this lesson
W.6.5Prerequisite
With some peer and adult support, plan, revise, edit, rewrite or try a new approach
