CCRA.W.4: Clear, Coherent Writing for Task, Purpose and Audience

Overview

Lesson Procedure

55-60 minutes of class time across 5 phases.

1. Warm-Up5 minutes
2. Direct Instruction15-20 minutes
3. Guided Practice15 minutes
4. Independent Practice15 minutes
5. Closure5 minutes

1. Warm-Up5 minutes

   Warm-Up Prompt

   "Here is one fact: the second-floor water fountains will be shut off on Thursday for repairs. Write it two ways: as a text message to a friend, and as one line of the morning announcements read to the whole school. Then list everything that changed besides the words."

   Take three or four pairs of answers. Students usually notice that the text message is short, informal and may add a joke or a reminder to bring a water bottle, while the announcement is complete, polite and gives the reason and the day. The fact did not change. The reader and the job did, and so did the length, the order and the tone. CCRA.W.4 names those changes: development, organization and style, chosen to fit the task, the purpose and the audience.

2. Direct Instruction15-20 minutes

   Terms for the whole period.

   • Task: the kind of writing the situation calls for, such as a notice, a letter, a lab report or a news article.
   • Purpose: what the writing must do: inform, explain, persuade, request, tell a story.
   • Audience: the readers, including what they already know, what they need and how they will use the piece.
   • Development: how fully each idea is built out with details, reasons, examples or evidence.
   • Organization: the order of ideas and the tools that show it: paragraphs, headings, topic sentences and transitions.
   • Style: word choice, sentence length, formality and tone.
   • Clear: a reader understands each sentence on the first reading.
   • Coherent: the parts hold together; each sentence and paragraph connects to the one before it and to the main point.
   • Jargon: official-sounding language that hides a simple meaning. It is not the same as technical vocabulary, which names something exactly for readers who know the field.

   The question to ask. Before drafting: "Who will read this, and what must it do for them?" After drafting: "Would that reader understand every sentence the first time, and can they follow how the parts connect?" Diagram 1 shows the match the standard asks for.

   How the anchor grows. The wording of W.4 is the same in every band from grade 6 to grade 12. The official grade-level standards point to standards 1-3 of each grade for what each type of writing must do, so the growth comes from those standards and from harder tasks, texts and audiences. The table lists every grade-level standard that carries CCRA.W.4 in grades 6-12.

   Progression of CCRA.W.4 in grades 6-12

   Grade-level standard	Band and subject	What changes in this band
   W.6.4	Grade 6, English	Same wording as the anchor; the expectations for each type of writing come from W.6.1-3, for example organizing information by definition, classification, comparison or cause and effect, and keeping a formal style
   W.7.4	Grade 7, English	Same wording; W.7.1-3 add, for example, acknowledging other claims and using transitions that create cohesion
   W.8.4	Grade 8, English	Same wording; W.8.1-3 add, for example, telling one's own claim apart from opposing claims and using varied transitions
   W.9-10.4	Grades 9-10, English	Same wording; W.9-10.1-3 add, for example, a formal style and objective tone that follow the norms of the discipline
   W.11-12.4	Grades 11-12, English	Same wording; W.11-12.1-3 add, for example, organizing complex ideas so that each new element builds on the one before into a unified whole
   WHST.6-8.4	Grades 6-8, history, science and technical subjects	Same wording, applied to explanations, lab reports and arguments in content classes (writing types in WHST.6-8.1-2)
   WHST.9-10.4	Grades 9-10, history, science and technical subjects	Same wording; WHST.9-10.1-2 add using precise, domain-specific vocabulary to manage the complexity of the topic, in a style suited to the discipline and to the expertise of likely readers
   WHST.11-12.4	Grades 11-12, history, science and technical subjects	Same wording; WHST.11-12.1-2 add techniques such as metaphor, simile and analogy for managing complex topics, and a knowledgeable stance suited to the discipline and to the expertise of likely readers

   Model text. Arthur Quiller-Couch (1863-1944) was a professor of English literature at Cambridge University in England. In 1913 and 1914 he gave a series of lectures to students on how to write well, printed in 1916 as On the Art of Writing. In this lecture he attacks "Jargon": writing that looks careful and official but does not say plainly what it means. He mentions a Minister answering a question in the House of Commons (Britain's Parliament) and a clerk writing the record of a meeting of a Board of Guardians (a local board that ran help for poor people in England). The paragraphs are numbered; two cuts are marked [...].

   1Has a Minister to say 'No' in the House of Commons? Some men are constitutionally incapable of saying no: but the Minister conveys it thus--'The answer to the question is in the negative.' That means 'no.' Can you discover it to mean anything less, or anything more except that the speaker is a pompous person?--which was no part of the information demanded.

   2That is Jargon, and it happens to be accurate. But as a rule Jargon is by no means accurate, its method being to walk circumspectly around its target; and its faith, that having done so it has either hit the bull's-eye or at least achieved something equivalent, and safer.

   3Thus the Clerk of a Board of Guardians will minute that--

   4In the case of John Jenkins deceased the coffin provided was of the usual character.

   5Now this is not accurate. 'In the case of John Jenkins deceased,' for whom a coffin was supplied, it is wholly superfluous to tell us that he is deceased. But actually John Jenkins never had more than one case, and that was the coffin. The Clerk says he had two,--a coffin in a case: but I suspect the Clerk to be mistaken, and I am sure he errs in telling us that the coffin was of the usual character: for coffins have no character, usual or unusual.

   [...]

   6Have you begun to detect the two main vices of Jargon? The first is that it uses circumlocution rather than short straight speech. It says 'In the case of John Jenkins deceased, the coffin' when it means 'John Jenkins's coffin': and its yea is not yea, neither is its nay nay: but its answer is in the affirmative or in the negative, as the foolish and superfluous 'case' may be. The second vice is that it habitually chooses vague woolly abstract nouns rather than concrete ones. I shall have something to say by-and-by about the concrete noun, and how you should ever be struggling for it whether in prose or in verse. [...]

   [...]

   7But since these lectures are meant to be a course in First Aid to writing, I will content myself with one or two extremely rough rules: yet I shall be disappointed if you do not find them serviceable.

   8The first is:--Whenever in your reading you come across one of these words, case, instance, character, nature, condition, persuasion, degree--whenever in writing your pen betrays you to one or another of them--pull yourself up and take thought. If it be 'case' (I choose it as Jargon's dearest child--'in Heaven yclept Metonomy') turn to the dictionary, if you will, and seek out what meaning can be derived from casus, its Latin ancestor: then try how, with a little trouble, you can extricate yourself from that case. The odds are, you will feel like a butterfly who has discarded his chrysalis.

   • Clarity: say it plainly

     In paragraph 1, the Minister says, "The answer to the question is in the negative." Rewrite it plainly and say what the plain version loses.

     Result: Plain version: "No." Quiller-Couch writes, "That means 'no.'" The plain version loses nothing the listener needed; the long version only sounds official. The lesson for CCRA.W.4: extra words that carry no meaning make writing less clear, not more formal.

   • Clarity: apply the rule in paragraph 8

     Paragraph 8 tells writers to "pull yourself up and take thought" whenever they write a word such as case. Apply the rule to this sentence from a school email: "In the case of the field trip, permission slips must be returned by Friday."

     Result: Ask what the sentence is really about: the slips. Revision: "Return your field trip permission slip by Friday." The vague phrase is gone, the reader is told what to do, and the sentence goes from 14 words to 8. Shorter is not the goal in itself; the goal is that every word does work.

   • Organization: Model B builds toward its answer

     Look at the order of Model B, "Why the Moon Turns Red" (Guided Practice). What job does each paragraph do?

     Result: Paragraph 1 asks the question. Paragraph 2 explains what an eclipse is and ends with the puzzle ("It doesn't, because Earth has air"). Paragraph 3 gives the cause. Paragraph 4 gives a picture of the cause. Paragraph 5 returns to the opening idea that the Moon does not go dark. Each paragraph answers the question the one before it raises, which is what makes the piece coherent.

   • Development and style: Model A gives a reason

     In Model A, the family notice, why does the writer add "white light makes the Moon harder to see for everyone" after asking families to cover their lights?

     Result: A family reading a school notice may ignore a rule that seems arbitrary. One short reason, in everyday words, makes the request make sense, and "for everyone" turns it into courtesy instead of an order. The writer develops this one point because the audience must act on it; the science of night vision is left out because the task is a notice, not an explanation.

   Point students to Diagram 1. Quiller-Couch's examples show what unclear writing costs the reader. The three models in Guided Practice show the other half of the standard: the same event, written three ways for three readers.

3. Guided Practice15 minutes

   One event, three readers. The three models below were written for this lesson; Alder Creek School, its Astronomy Club and the people named are invented. All three are about the same night: a total eclipse of the Moon, when the full Moon passes through Earth's shadow. Model A is a notice for families in the school's bulletin. Model B is a short explanation for the sixth-grade science newsletter. Model C is a letter from the club's president asking the principal for permission to hold the event. Read them in order.

   1Eclipse Night on the Field: Friday, 9:30-11:30 p.m.

   2On Friday night the full Moon will pass through Earth's shadow and turn a deep orange-red. The Astronomy Club invites every student and family to watch it from the athletic field.

   3When: Gates open at 9:30 p.m. The Moon is fully inside the shadow from 10:12 to about 11:22 p.m.

   4Where: The athletic field. Enter by the gym parking lot.

   5Bring: A blanket or folding chair and a warm layer. If you need a light, cover it with red paper; white light makes the Moon harder to see for everyone.

   6Is it safe to look? Yes. Unlike an eclipse of the Sun, an eclipse of the Moon is safe to watch with your bare eyes. Club members will run four telescopes.

   7Students must come with an adult from their family. If the sky is cloudy, we will cancel by 6 p.m. Friday on the school's message line.

   1On Friday night the Moon will not disappear. It will turn red. Why?

   2A lunar eclipse happens when Earth moves directly between the Sun and the full Moon. Earth blocks the sunlight that normally lights up the Moon, so the Moon moves into Earth's shadow. You might expect the shadow to make the Moon go completely dark. It doesn't, because Earth has air.

   3As sunlight passes through the thin layer of air around Earth, the air bends some of it into the shadow. The air also scatters blue light in every direction, the same scattering that makes the daytime sky blue. Red and orange light gets through. That reddish light falls on the Moon.

   4Here is one way to picture it. If you stood on the Moon during the eclipse, you would see Earth as a black circle with a thin ring of red light around its edge. That ring is every sunrise and sunset on Earth, happening at the same moment.

   5So the next time someone says the Moon "goes dark" during an eclipse, you can tell them what it really does: it borrows the color of our sunsets.

   1Dear Dr. Okafor,

   2The Astronomy Club asks permission to use the athletic field from 9:00 p.m. to 11:45 p.m. on Friday for a family viewing of the total lunar eclipse. Totality, when the Moon is fully inside Earth's shadow, runs from 10:12 to about 11:22 p.m., so the event would end soon after.

   3We have planned for the three concerns you raised at last year's star party. First, supervision: Ms. Varga, our advisor, and two parent volunteers will be on the field the whole time, and every student must attend with an adult from his or her family. Second, light: we will use only the parking lot lights by the gym door, so the field stays dark for viewing but the path to the cars is lit. Third, cleanup: club members will walk the field with trash bags at 11:30 p.m., and Ms. Varga will lock the gate.

   4If the sky is cloudy, we will cancel by 6 p.m. and post the notice on the school's message line.

   5Thank you for considering our request.

   6Sincerely,
   Mira Castellanos, Astronomy Club president

   Task, purpose and audience of the three models (students add development, organization and style)

   	Model A	Model B	Model C
   Task	Notice in the family bulletin	Article in a class science newsletter	Formal letter
   Purpose	Inform families so they can come	Explain why the Moon turns red	Request permission to use the field
   Audience	Students and families, reading quickly	Sixth graders who know little about eclipses	The principal, who must approve the event
   Development	Students fill in	Students fill in	Students fill in
   Organization	Students fill in	Students fill in	Students fill in
   Style	Students fill in	Students fill in	Students fill in

   1. Fill the chart. Pairs complete the bottom three rows with one quotation and its paragraph number in each cell. Grades 6-8 complete Models A and B; grades 9-12 complete all three.
   2. Shared facts. Ask: "Which facts appear in more than one model?" Teacher note: the day (Friday) appears in all three; the 10:12 start of totality and the cancellation plan appear in A and C. Shared facts show that the writers agree on what will happen and differ on what each reader needs.
   3. Swap test. Ask: "What would go wrong if the school sent Model B to families as the notice?" Teacher note: families would learn why the Moon turns red but not where to go, what to bring or whether to come at all. A good explanation can be the wrong piece for the task.
   4. Grades 9-12 extension. Ask: "Which model would be hardest to write, and why?" Accept reasoned answers; the discussion should name a reader's needs, not only length.
4. Independent Practice15 minutes

   Revise for the reader. The draft below is a first attempt at the family notice. It has the right facts in the wrong form. Students revise it so a family could read it in one minute and know what to do.

   1Lunar Eclipse Event Information

   2With regard to the upcoming astronomical phenomenon, it should be noted that the Astronomy Club will be facilitating an observational opportunity. In the event of cloud cover conditions the event will not take place.

   3Totality commences at 10:12. Illumination devices of the white variety are not permitted due to the fact that they impact dark adaptation. The eclipse is a penumbral and umbral event.

   4Participants should bring blankets, etc. It's on Friday. The location is the field.

   5A lot of people think you need special glasses but that is not the case, unlike for solar events where retinal damage is a possibility in the case of unprotected viewing. Students must be accompanied.

   • Grades 6-8: Rewrite the draft as a family notice of 90-140 words. Use the checklist: Who is it for? What must they know first? Is every sentence clear on the first reading? Then underline two places where you changed the order and circle two words you replaced.
   • Grades 9-12: Rewrite the draft as a family notice, then write a second version of its last paragraph for the sixth-grade science newsletter. Add three sentences explaining one choice in development, one in organization and one in style that differ between your two versions.

   Teacher note: Model A in Guided Practice is one strong version of this notice, so collect the revisions before students compare their work with it. Look for revisions that a family could act on after one quick reading.

5. Closure5 minutes

   Exit ticket: Write one sentence from your revision that you are proud of. Under it, name its reader and explain in one sentence why that reader needed it written that way.

   Teacher note on the 1917 text: Quiller-Couch addressed his lectures to an audience of Cambridge students in 1913, and his references (the House of Commons, a Board of Guardians, a Latin grammar) belong to that time and place. The end of paragraph 6 is cut: the full sentence advises students to write "masculine English" and quotes a rhyme from a Latin grammar; the phrase reflects the period's habit of calling plain, strong style "masculine," and it is left out here because the point of the passage does not depend on it. Earlier in the same lecture, outside this excerpt, are an anecdote and a term that reflect the racial attitudes of his time; they are not reproduced on this page.

   For homework: students use the fact sheet below. It was written for this lesson; the Hiking Club, the park and the ranger are invented. The facts are complete, but the three club notes at the end are written in jargon.

   1Ridgeline Trail Cleanup Day: facts gathered by the Hiking Club secretary

   2Event: The Hiking Club will pick up litter along the Lower Ridgeline Trail, from the North Lot trailhead to the Creek Bridge, a distance of about 2 miles.

   3Date and time: Saturday, 8:30 to 11:30 a.m. Volunteers meet at the North Lot trailhead at 8:15.

   4Who: 24 club members have signed up so far. The club hopes for 30. Two teachers and four parents will lead groups of about five students each.

   5Permission needed: Ranger Dana Whitfield must approve any group of more than 15 people using the trail. The club also wants to borrow 30 litter grabbers and 40 trash bags from the park office.

   6The ranger's concerns from a past event: groups that left the trail and trampled plants, too many cars in the North Lot (it holds 40), and volunteers who touched poison oak, which grows beside the lower half of the trail.

   7What volunteers need: closed-toe shoes, long pants, a water bottle and a hat. Gloves are provided.

   8Club notes (copied from the club's planning document, and in need of rewriting):
   1. Participation is contingent upon the receipt of signed authorization documentation.
   2. In the case of inclement weather conditions, the event will be subject to postponement.
   3. Volunteers are advised that vegetation of a hazardous nature is present in the vicinity of the lower trail.

Differentiation Strategies

Assessment Guidance

1. Question 1 of 20 · Multiple Choice

   A writer must tell sixth-grade families about a change to the field trip schedule and must also explain the change to the school board. Which plan best follows CCRA.W.4?

   AWrite one version and send it to both groups so that the facts stay the same. BWrite two versions that share the facts but differ in detail, order and tone. CWrite the board version first and shorten each sentence of it for families. DWrite the family version and add more difficult words to it for the board.

2. Question 2 of 20 · Multiple Choice

   In paragraph 7 of the Quiller-Couch excerpt, why does he call his advice "extremely rough rules"?

   AHe is offering quick practical help, not a complete theory of style. BHe thinks his students write too roughly to follow any exact rules. CHe wants his students to break each rule as soon as they learn it. DHe has not yet tried the rules on any real examples of writing.

3. Question 3 of 20 · Multiple Choice

   In paragraph 2, Quiller-Couch says jargon is usually not accurate because of its "method." What is that method?

   AIt uses short, blunt words that sound rude to readers. BIt walks around its subject instead of naming it directly. CIt borrows foreign phrases in order to impress its readers. DIt repeats the same idea in every sentence of a paragraph.

4. Question 4 of 20 · Multiple Choice

   Why does Quiller-Couch say the Clerk's sentence in paragraph 4 is "not accurate" (paragraph 5)?

   AThe Clerk gives the wrong name for the man who died. BThe Clerk forgets to record who paid for the coffin. CIts words state things that cannot be true of a coffin. DIts words are too few to describe the funeral fully.

5. Question 5 of 20 · Multiple Choice

   Paragraph 6 names "the two main vices of Jargon." Which pair is correct?

   ALong sentences and too many examples BSlang words and missing punctuation CRoundabout phrasing and vague abstract nouns DForeign phrases and old-fashioned spellings of words

6. Question 6 of 20 · Multiple Choice

   Apply the rule in paragraph 8 to this sentence: "In the case of the town library, late fees have been eliminated." Which revision best follows the rule?

   AIn the town library's case, late fees have been eliminated. BWith regard to the town library, late fees are no longer the case. CIn the case of late fees, the town library has eliminated them. DThe town library no longer charges late fees.

7. Question 7 of 20 · Multiple Choice

   Model A (the family notice) and Model C (the letter to the principal) are about the same event. Why does only Model C describe supervision, lighting and cleanup in detail?

   AFamilies are not interested in whether the event is supervised. BThe principal must approve it and had raised those concerns. CThe Astronomy Club forgot to include those details in Model A. DLetters must always be longer than notices about the same event.

8. Question 8 of 20 · Multiple Choice

   How is Model A mainly organized?

   ABy short labeled sections that each answer one practical question BBy a story that follows the night of the eclipse from start to finish CBy a claim followed by reasons and an answer to an opposing claim DBy a comparison of eclipses of the Sun and the Moon throughout

9. Question 9 of 20 · Multiple Choice

   Model B uses the everyday words "Earth's shadow," while the weak draft (T5) uses "penumbral and umbral." Why is Model B's choice better for its readers?

   AIts readers are sixth graders who may not know the technical terms. BThe words umbral and penumbral are not correct terms for a shadow. CThe writer wanted to avoid repeating the same word many times. DScience newsletters do not allow any technical words in articles.

10. Question 10 of 20 · Multiple Choice

    Which feature of Model C best fits its audience and purpose?

    AIt opens with a lively question meant to catch the reader's interest. BIt uses headings such as When and Where for quick scanning. CIt states the request first and then takes each concern in turn. DIt describes the red Moon with a picture of sunsets on Earth.

11. Question 11 of 20 · Multiple Choice

    Which problem in the weak draft (T5) would most get in the way of a family that wants to attend?

    AIt never says when the event starts or when it ends. BIt uses too many short sentences in a row for families. CIt explains the science of the eclipse in too much detail. DIt gives the location of the event in three different places.

12. Question 12 of 20 · Multiple Choice

    Paragraph 4 of the weak draft reads, "Participants should bring blankets, etc. It's on Friday. The location is the field." What is its main coherence problem?

    AIts sentences are far too formal and stiff for families. BIts transitions point the reader in the wrong direction. CIt repeats one fact three times using different words. DIt puts unrelated facts together, and the date comes late.

13. Question 13 of 20 · Multiple Choice

    A student writes a lab report for her science teacher and then a one-paragraph summary of the same lab for the school's family newsletter. Which change between the two is appropriate?

    AKeeping every data table in both pieces so families see all the numbers BLeaving out the results in the summary so that it stays short CDefining a term such as control group that the teacher already knows DChanging the results in the summary so that they sound more exciting

14. Question 14 of 20 · Multiple Choice

    Which sentence is clearest for a reader who has to act on it?

    AThe submission of forms should occur prior to the end of the week. BForms, which are important, should be handed in at some point soon. CIn the case of forms, the office is where they go by Friday. DTurn in your form at the main office by 3 p.m. Friday.

15. Question 15 of 20 · Short Answer

    Rewrite the Clerk's sentence (paragraph 4 of the Quiller-Couch excerpt) in plain English, following the advice in paragraph 6. Then explain which vice or vices your version removes.

    Show model answer

16. Question 16 of 20 · Short Answer

    Name one difference in development and one difference in style between Model B and Model C. For each, explain how it fits that model's purpose and audience.

    Show model answer

17. Question 17 of 20 · Short Answer

    Rewrite this sentence from a bike club's notice for its seventh-grade members so that it is clear on the first reading: "Helmet utilization is mandatory for all participants in the event of ride participation." Then explain two changes you made.

    Show model answer

18. Question 18 of 20 · Short Answer

    Explain the difference between jargon and the precise technical vocabulary a science report should use. Give one example of each, and say who the reader is for your technical example.

    Show model answer

19. Question 19 of 20 · Short Answer

    Model A saves two points for its last paragraph: students must come with an adult, and the event will be canceled if it is cloudy. Explain why the writer might place them last, and say whether you would move either one. Base your answer on what a family reader needs.

    Show model answer

20. Question 20 of 20 · Short Answer

    Paragraph 2 says jargon's "faith" is that it has "either hit the bull's-eye or at least achieved something equivalent, and safer." In your own words, explain why a writer might feel roundabout writing is "safer," and who pays the price.

    Show model answer

These are the grade-level standards that carry anchor CCRA.W.4 in grades 6-12, plus closely related anchors.

Standard text: Common Core State Standards for English Language Arts & Literacy. © Copyright 2010. National Governors Association Center for Best Practices and Council of Chief State School Officers. All rights reserved.